Transformers: Cap Bots are aiming for your heads!
Remember when Transformers battled in a fight to survive using disguise to camouflage their massive robot bodies from our beady human eyes?
Yeah, now they’re turning into Nike shoes, Mickey Mouse, Inedible Popsicles, MP3 Players, iPod Docks, USB hubs and now… Hats.
Yes. The battle has come to headwear! Watch your dome, dawg!
As part of another strange cross-marketing thing, the Japanese are getting a pair of these new “Cap Bots” with Optimus in recognizable red and Blue and Megatron in his less appreciated “Stealth/Night Ops” style Black and Silver. Or maybe Megatron is a fan of the Raiders? Don’t recall Megatron hailing from Oakland or being a part of the Raider Nation, but I’m not one to stand in the way of one cosmic robot despot’s football-based enthusiasm.
The toys actually look decent and their puffy robot bodies and bright colors fondly rekindle that love I had for Transformers: Animated and the toyline’s almost vinyl-ish design aesthetic. They even look like fun toys, which most of these tie-in things tend to not be, with slight exception to the more practical device label figures like Soundwave and Blaster.
But then these are hats. Hats that you cannot wear and hats that are likely not even to scale with human-like craniums.
If I pay import prices on unwearable transforming robot hats, I may have to hit myself with a brick and continue hitting myself until it is time for the hitting to stop. While these are bucking the trend of Japanese toys getting the absurdly inflated prices I’m accustomed to seeing (BigBadToysStore has ‘em at roughly $25 apiece for the December preorder), these aren’t the figures I’ve been ready to fight strangers to the death in a walmart for.
As nifty as these hats that I cannot wear happen to be (and they are pretty nifty), they fall under the same category as food I can’t eat ($60) and shoes I can’t wear ($100 or more), that category being that they’re pretty darn cool, but I have no intention of buying my own.
I bear no ill will against them, they still look pretty nifty. They’re just not for me. Still, I am wondering how they measure up in height and stuff, for the price I’m guessing they’re not actually scale hats and I know they’re not wearable with all the robot bits hiding under there. I still think back to the time I bought MickeyMousimus Prime and saw how tiny he was, causing blood to spray from my ears, eyes and nose in a mixed moment of confusion, frustration and rage.
Why does the collecting hurt us, precious?