Tag Archives: transformers 3

Michael Bay Transformers Trilogy is available for your human tears

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Seriously… It’s a rough kick to the goods just knowing that Dark of the Moon was an intentional release! Where do you go when bird-shaped robot alien assassin’s murder JFK? Back into the toilet. Obviously. I’ve recently seen this set in person, but if pressed to purchase these films in any fashion I’d recommend getting each of these individually. Used. Not new. The opposite of new. Old. I say this simply out of practicality because there’s nothing distinguishing the new copies from the old copies… Continue reading →

Transformers: Optimus Prime is DONE with rush hour traffic

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You humans and you cars. Filthy organic parasites abusing these otherwise marvelous mechanical machines… Um… Optimus Prime is getting a wild re-release along with his already overabundant re-releases in Japan. This release is referred to as DA-28 Striker Optimus Prime and MAN does he looks pissed off! Using the same basic mold as the positively magnificent TF2: Revenge of the Fallen leader Optimus Prime that they recently threw wings on for another Japanese-only release; Striker Prime comes packing some wicked transforming rifle and shield components… Continue reading →

Transformers 3: Saving the best FAT Robots for last

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Transformers internet celebrity “Peaugh” has obtained yet another stolen toy from a Chinese factory and made videos of it. This time featuring the Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon beer-bellied Wrecker Leadfoot figure, which is said to be a target exclusive two-pack with an, as of yet, unknown Twin Twist figure. While I didn’t care for a lot of things about TF3, I did like the Wreckers. I mean, I didn’t care for the the fact that there were only three of them, and of… Continue reading →

Transformers 3: This time there’s CUPCAKES… and Snowballs

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I… Okay, I laughed a little. And I’m too tired to be angry at the moment. Aside from the usual shameful movie tie-in, “Chocwave” and “Snowballimus” treats are doubly shameless as a contest enters with their existence as well. They slap Transformers on there for the first part of the sale and hoping to make the most of the limited window during which Hostess intends to sully itself with Transformers-based goods, there’s a promoted contest related to the treats that offers a $25,000.00 prize. It’s… Continue reading →

Transformers 3: So this is Soundwave, eh?

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Seibertron loaded up some stock photos recently. The CHUG (Classics/Henkei/Universe/Generations line dedicated to releasing modern updates of 80′s toys and characters) figures look outstanding. But they also show off some of the movie-based embarrassments and while Wheeljack is a fucking lost cause, they are intent on pimping movie Soundwave in at least 3-4 variations… So this is deluxe DOTM Soundwave. Sure, some of you might not care, but I know at least 4-5 of you out there are stuffing flammable cloth into a bottle as… Continue reading →

Hasbro: A Sort of Apology. Sort of. Kinda.

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I went off the deep recently. Some of you might suggest that it was sooner than that, and I might be inclined to agree, but for the sake of clarity I need to come out and give credit where credit is due, even if this amounts to apologizing for Hasbro flinging shit right into my face and asking for money afterwards. Let’s talk about why I was probably a little too excited to talk shit AND why I was absolutely awesome for speaking the truth;… Continue reading →

Some babbling on Transformers 3

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I saw it. I saw it in 3D. I feel weird, like I’ve paid money to have a greasy-haired douchebag named Michael stomp on my genitals for over two hours. I read reviews by harsh critics and Transformer/Bay apologists and fanboys. I read spoilers. I even perused Topless Robot’s excellent FAQ on the third Transformers film. Nothing prepared me for seeing this shit in motion. Beyond the cut, I ramble.

Transformers 3: Butthole Bay’s Base burgled by bandits?!

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(Possibly better than TF2? You decide!) Per Michael Bay’s stupid website we have learned that Federal Authorities have been called in to assist in the terribly important recovery of… stuff. Given how often Michael Bay lies, I’m genuinely curious as to whether or not this “theft” is real. As the most potent douchebag in Hollywood today, Bay’s frequently fictitious weirdness is legendary although even for him this is a bit of a stretch. A bit. Why call him a liar? Well, aside from loathing the… Continue reading →

Toy Fair 2011: A city quakes in toy terror

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(“Toy Guy?” is here to hawk crap. Hasbro crap in particular. Check out the Optimus at around 2:02 in the video, the hideous Butterfly wings are, in reality, all part of a truly bizarre homage to Gundam Wing with big wings and a massive cannon.) So this weekend has a terror invading the big apple, that terror is a so-called “Fair of Toy” wherein pushers of all things toy-like have assembled to push their dirty, dirty wares. Dirty. So far the only things bleeding out… Continue reading →

Transformers: New ‘bots seen moonin’ yo’ momma! Um, on the moon.

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(TF3 super bowl teaser) Entertainment Weekly has a fairly extensive article detailing a calculated reveal of Optimus Prime’s predecessor, Sentinel Prime, whose strange exile put him on Earth’s moon as well as a look as Megatron’s new appearance. Uh… Excuse me, I have a question… Isn’t the moon getting a little overcrowded with robots now? Between The Fallen making it his summer home and the Decepticons hiding their every weekend, there’s also a creepy robot nursery up there full of protoforms, right? Shouldn’t they, in… Continue reading →

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