There's all KINDS of batshit stuff we should be talking about, but... Not tonight. Sorry internet. I'll be more fun tomorrow!

I’m tired. It’s been a rough couple of weeks. Family issues are frequent and painful, work is sporadic and frantic and I’m caught in a weird place trying to be a happily married nerd who just wants a little sleep and some time with Minecraft.

And maybe Prototype 2…

I’m just glancing a couple of my recent posts and some of the ones I have cooking and I’m grimacing in humiliation and shame because I’m seeing some awful errors in writing that might earn this unit a whuppin’ by the Grammar Police. Not to say that I haven’t had some oopsies in the past, but I’m seeing whole paragraphs that make me cringe like… uh, something that… cringes?

Whatever. I’m tired. I’m gonna try to sleep.

I really wanted to use this time for writing, but I’m just… tired. I’ll be a funny, snarky bastard again soon, but I need the sleepnesstimes before that can happen.

Just assume that Superman II is the only Superman film worth seeing and it'll all be much easier to accept.

WOW. Just WOW. The Avengers was amazing and pulled off precisely what this comic-to-film transition need, some damn fine continuity with the intelligent awareness that the film itself was meant to encapsulate something bigger while being its own unique story at the same time.

It’s probably the finest comic film ever made, hands down. Sorry Purplemonkeydishwasher, it’s just a fact. They took some damn good Marvel flicks released them with a plan for something bigger and it worked. Meanwhile at DC, Superman is getting another reboot… because no one this goddamn country knows who Superman is? I mean, I know the third Batman film in the Nolan opus of Batsexiness is hitting this summer, but what next?

DC isn’t equipped to compete with this. They need the Justice League out in force. NOW. Not dithering about maybe doing a Martian Manhunter movie or finding another way to lure Ryan Reynolds away from being Deadpool for another shitty Green Lantern film, but to just jump in with both feet making AT LEAST Superman and Batman hang out for some reason and then crowbar Wonder Woman in the mix.

The JLA can start small… as long as they start something.

Part of me wishes they’d still write off the upcoming disappointment that is the new Man of Steel film, reintroducing Superman to a world still trying to get over the nausea that his “return” gave us so they don’t have to keep hurting Supes with shit movies. Avengers proves that audiences can stay interested in movies that behave like comics, if for no other reason, because the comics aren’t afraid to put the heroes to the test with new and interesting stuff like enemies who actually are a threat to them!

Why not have Superman face Darkseid? Or maybe a character that matters ASIDE from Lex Luthor? Kevin Spacey was an amazing choice for Lex Luthor and the moment where he STABS Superman with kryptonite and hisses “fly” into his ear as he pushes Superman off a cliff still makes me tingle to this day, but it’s probably the ONLY decent thing that crawled onto the fucking screen since Superman II. That’s it. That single moment personifies their fucked up hero/villain relationship and that the only hint of that that ever really made it onscreen.

I’m hoping this will rattle DC to override their fucking Warner Brothers masters to the point that they can push them to take bigger risks to ensure a stronger brand across media platforms like films. Why not make a Dr. Fate movie? Chimp Detective? The Outsiders? The Huntress? Captain Marv-Oh yeah, they sort of lost that… Uh, “Shazam”?

DC can’t afford NOT to take the chances that Marvel has and when they do, I think we’ll all be richer for it. It should terrify DC knowing that since the Avengers went down separate paths at the end that it’s not unreasonable to expect that during their highly probably separate films they may even pull together splinter groups like The Defenders, West Coast Avengers, God Squad or even the Redeemers, making each respective character, and the Marvel Movie Universe at large, bigger by comparison.

DC shouldn’t let another Catwoman happen. EVER. Batman can’t be the only good product that isn’t crap in the magnificent idea factory that houses the Lantern War, Identity Crisis and a multiverse of brilliance be hampered by coke-snorting movie studio scumbags who can’t appreciate the stuff they’re sitting on.

Don't think that he'll hesitate to stab the shit out of you with that horn. Seriously. Watch yourself.

Many of you might be wondering why some burly, manly specimen like myself would be so ecstatic at the return of a pair of children’s films. You may proceed straight to hell. I think you know the way.

ANYWAY! Unico is one of many brainchildren of Osamu Tezuka and was pretty awesome back in the day, his two films making their way onto the Disney Channel, which used to be a big deal. I was too young to really tell you any more than that since my mom taped both movies for me off of the Disney Channel and they remained in my pile of totally awesome kids shows trapped in VHS form.

How excited am I that Discotek brought the baby Unicorn back tot he fold? VERY excited.

In DVD, Unico comes in two Flavors: Unico & the Island of Magic and The Fantastic Adventures of Unico

If you know children, buy them. If you have children buy them NOW. If you might encounter children, buy them. Er, not if you’re the guy with the white van full of duct tape that reads “FREE PUPPIES AND CANDY!” on the side. Just sayin’. There’s a brand image to uphold.

Awhile back, Amazon successfully put its fancy streaming stuff on Sony’s console to a shockingly excitable reception. I watched my Twitter feeds go ablaze with people happily dropping Netflix out of their lives entirely; their jubilation mixed thoroughly with poisonous spite after enduring Netflix’s consistent bungles, hiccups and… “Qwikster”.

Having given it a spin, I can say that the HD stuff appear to be better represented, but the interface could really use some work. The purchase by the episode gimmick isn’t anything you won’t find anywhere else (iTunes, Zune Marketplace, PlayStation Network, etc.), but the real prize is that Amazon Prime users have unlimited streaming with select movies and TV shows set apart by the prime logo and some limited search parameters.

What this does is provide you a taste of what Netflix does for the annual price of Amazon Prime, saving you about $16 (give or take) and limiting your unlimited viewing potential rather dramatically. Before you trash your Netflix account, keep in mind that it’s a bumpy road right now since most of the “free” viewing items pale in comparison to Netflix’s massive library of titles on Instant Watch or otherwise brandish titles also easily found on Netflix already.

The prices are pretty standard, the sales are excellent and for all its clunky interface issues and stunted browsing, the streaming program seems vastly better put together than Netflix’s. Which is quite a feat.

The best part? Amazon does free trials. Netflix does too, but you can’t sign up for super sexy free shipping for things like, well, almost ANYTHING you can buy on Amazon. The biggest draw is going to be the exclusive content since Networks and Studios still can’t grasp how the process benefits them on any platform. Netflix has made the first significant blow with their Lilyhammer series, but until something more desirable hits the streaming it could really go either way.

In the meantime, I suspect Amazon’s gonna see a LOT more new Prime members in the coming years.

Because it’s not Monday! Obviously! Oh crap… Well, I guess this IS the update for Monday!

I’m currently in the middle of forcing furniture where it won’t fit. Er, don’t let a weird image get into your head, I’m moving some stuff in my home office, but due to awkward circumstances involving scorpions, employment, and uh… well, a LOT of scorpions I have possession of some fancy new stuff… in addition to a bunch of my OLD stuff, already in place. The “new” stuff is actually old and used stuff, but it’s a massive boost over what I used to be rockin and it’s just awkward because I’m an idiot and didn’t move stuff OUT before I moved stuff IN. It’s all sort of a surprise for me and a rush job at that. So…

Sigh.

Weird stuff happens when you least suspect it.

Most of it comes from my late father who passed away unexpectedly in September of last year. So expect me to be an emotional wreck much of this week because… Well, I miss my Dad a lot. I’ll try to keep my nerd work and personal mourning separate, but I won’t hesitate to worship my personal nerd hero who had a law firm stacked with Superman swag and varying comic book weapons. My Dad was the coolest dude ever.

That said, there’s some things to address and some of the ever growing backlog of articles to empty. Avengers is out and it is amazing, Minecraft has finally landed on Xbox Live, I’ve got some words on Ultimate Spider-man (the new TV show) as well as Avengers EMH Season 2 and then there’s toys, like the BTS Transformers Soundwave homage Sonicron, to discuss.

Also, I’m noticing suddenly “brave” asshats have risen up to speak out against the masses of Mass Effect 3 fans displeased with the horrific fuck-up of a lazy, copy-pasted abomination of an ending have, like me, settled down a bit to see Bioware salvage their franchise. Seriously? Why so tough when we’re kickin’ back? Leave us the fuck alone, stop poking the hornet’s nest and walk the fuck away, idiots.

The Soundwave that wasn't, I got a Sonicron and I need to rant about it!

Aside from sites being occasionally trolled, folks are seeking guys out on social media to troll and Kotaku is posting articles reflecting this this recent trend of stupid assholes who decided to sack up when no one was fighting. Like a recent article about pretentious, brain damaged fucker in denial who confused an entire GAME with an ending (IE: the last ten minutes, the only complaint folks have been making?). Yeah, I’m still mad, but unlike these guys I’ve been trying to stay calm, but these tickles of antagonism aren’t helping me decide if I just put Mass Effects 1-3 into storage or toss them into a fire and send it to Bioware.

Sure that’s an expensive Bonfire (Collector’s Editions, too!), but seeing Bioware do everything except explain their bullshit or take immediate responsibility to salvage their brand by opening up dialogue or doing SOMETHING other than condescending their audience after lying outright makes me mad enough to seriously consider it.

Anyway, this is an update. I hope you enjoyed it.

It touches on Bay’s firm grasp of comedy, use of strong female leads, easily conveyed plot points and his flattering appearance of the men and women that serve in our armed forces today. Watch the video for yourself and try –JUST TRY– to not come away with a stronger understanding of Michael Bay and his skillful presentation of the Transformers franchise.

Then just think about what he can do for Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles.

Source: Topless Robot

But hey, opportunity knocks. Just not now. Because I’m tired, dammit.

Sometimes ya just gotta take a minute to absorb what's odd about your surroundings.

All you need to take from this post is that I’m a lazy asshole after loading/unloading a truck for six hours with no sleep and a whole night worth of work to look forward to and I’m throwing together articles in my extremely brief downtime when I’m not trying desperately to catch some sleep. I’ll have other reasons for you to come bask in my glorious personality soon enough. Just… be ready to bask.

Shigeru Miyamoto points out that Vita is just missing a reason to visit the device in the first place. Knock offs of console games aren’t going to cut it and without anything to really put the hardware to the test there’s nothing in the library to effectively sell the product.

He even goes so far as to talk about the 3DS woes it suffered by having shit for games. Not that the 3DS has necessarily improved, I still don’t have anything I want to feed the hardware and the recent Kid Icarus debacle makes me embarrassed to own one. But then I had the original PSP at launch, that was slightly more embarrassing until I started playing Grand Theft Auto with other people on it.

Anywway, check out the review at Edge.

Source: Edge, Kotaku

WHOOPS! So... you created a demand that you INTENTIONALLY ignored? You even cut off people who were already PAYING for the product?

In one of the most boneheaded decisions the company could have made, they sprayed First Edition toys in a lot of places. Those places mostly being Canada & Asia. Just not the place where their headquarters gets mail. As in the USA, where the primary English speaking Transformers folks are located.

Let’s talk about a recent rumbling that could make things right, the unfortunate likelihood of said rumbling and clarify why I’m still ranting on this same topic. Again. Warning, I’m bursting with tangential energies!

Barely comprehensible ranting follows the cut…

US Fans weren’t aware of this little tidbit of course, because like a big pile of fucking imbeciles Hasbro let a shitload slip into Toys R Us “by accident”, but when online stores had amassed preorders Hasbro came out to kick them in the dick by just cutting them off without providing an explanation until much later.

To reiterate, people had paid up front for these fucking toys and Hasbro simply cut off customers from getting figures that they were already willing to pay both premium prices for. They stepped in to STOP CUSTOMERS FROM GIVING THEM MONEY FOR SHIT THEY HAD ALREADY PRODUCED. I can’t even imagine what business meetings about distribution must be like in there.

It really stings because the toys are freaking awesome. It'd be easier to ignore if they were the RID figures...

For Americans, Transformers: Prime didn’t have retail presence until very recently and yet the show has been on for more than a year. Most importantly, the toys that made it to market (the TFP “Robots in Disguise” subline) are by comparison pretty shitty next to the ornate, fancy packed toys originally meant to drum up interest in the show in the first place.

Fans in the USA were naturally a little pissed to get the knock-off like toys compared to the hot-shit collector’s figures that put everything released since to shame.

Hasbro’s reasoning?

Hasbro explained that for figures to be available in the United States, the figures would require a higher order to be profitable. Other markets, such as Canada and Asia, require less orders.

Per Tformers

There ya go, just another American company fucking over their fellow countrymen to sell internationally first using the whole weak dollar excuse that made Windcharger such a pain in the ass to find. Probably the same reason we got snubbed on a bunch of recent Japanese releases. Whatever. Fuck them.

Or maybe not? I mean, Hasbro did say they plan to find a way to get these figures domestically released, though I struggle with how complicated this whole affair could be for them SINCE THAT’S THE ONLY FUCKING THING THIS COMPANY DOES IS PRODUCE AND DISTRIBUTE TOYS.

Uh, anyway…

Word is spreading of additional First Edition figures being seeing production and distribution! However, it looks like they’re going to… Asian consumption?!? Didn’t Asia already receive like two helpings of this same line on top of the goddamn TFP Targetmasters???

Nevermind.

Fuck Hasbro, man. Just another stone in a pile to hurl in their direction while we wait for Hasbro to stop being the guy that offers you popcorn in his lap, but instead it turns out it’s a buttery bucket with their dick in it.

TAKE IT AND LIKE IT, YOU UPPITY FUCKS! ARE YOU TOO GOOD FOR MY MONEY NOW?!

Stop being that guy, Hasbro. We don’t want your dick. We want toys. Stop offering us your dick, take our money and stop making this relationship weird.

We don’t like you that way.

AND YOU’RE GONNA LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Um… anyway…

You know what sucked? Hasbro’s shitty ban on 3rd Party goods at a convention meant to promote the Transformers brand, yet had the corporate stink of a strange new draconian attitude towards fan management rather than the formerly supportive and wholly inclusive atmosphere widely appreciated by Botconners previously.

After the cut, let’s talk about what happens when five Transformers love each other very VERY much. After the cut and stuff!

And yet, some brave souls told Hasbro to suck their plastic as some amazing figures showed up in the dealer’s room at Botcon 2012. In particular, the 3rd party Iron Army set that fixes the primary problem of Power Core Combiners: The Drones.

Five robots?! Combining?! MADNESS!!!!

PCC was a line that embraced the combiner aspect of the old school Transformers mythos, but instead of being a gaggle of robots that could combine with any othe robot a la the Generation One “Scramble City” 5-robot Combiners (Menasor, Superion, Defensor, Bruticus, Piranacon, etc.) with interchangeable limbs. The problem with PCC is that all limbs have very specific positioning for any arrangement you uh, arrange and the limbs themselves are actually just drones that prescribe to a certain theme.

The fact that the limbs could not be anything except limbs or vehicles is a drag, but the “Iron Army” set bypasses all woes and is designed with a specific result in mind. The World War 2 themed appendages are themselves transforming robots beckoning nostalgia towards the G1 combaticons and snuffing the typical image of misproportioned monstrosities lumbering around.

Check out the gallery Tformers snapped during the convention. It’s super sexy.