Web Site: http://twitter.com/Tekyuinajar
Bio: I'm Tekyu Inajar, editor-in-chief for the site. I do a lot of things; primarily I'm a massive nerd and that will define a lot of what I write about on here. In particular expect me to jabber out Transformers, Anime, Console & PC gaming, Comic books and collectible toys. Or whatever the hell I feel like! YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!!
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After seeing the videos along and hearing some more of the songs, I took the plunge and snagged the album. It has ruled my ears ever since and I feel compelled to share the bizarre combo bringing the perverse talents of Egoraptor and Ninja Sex Party together.
I could come up with genuine reasons, but I’m going to just blurt out descriptions of the songs because they’re probably the most effective incentive. Given the source expect a lot a dick jokes. Like… a LOT. Generally, it’s an album dedicated to perverting the games you love and you’ll be laughing your ass off as it happens.
The album is available in two flavors, the standard album and the EX Plus Alpha edition that includes the karaoke tracks. There’s also a physical disc and some swag HERE. Let’s rap about the rap album as I blunder through some of the tracks with the videos made so far, they push that there’s 13 tracks, but two of them aren’t worth noting since they’re just opening and closing talky stuff.
1. I choose you to die – The album begins with a shock to the system giving you a taste of Pokemon gone dark as an Ash Ketchum begins beating on his Pokemon in a desperate attempt to get a thrill. A cautionary yarn about life after catching them all.
2. Sonic’s Best Pal – Tails the Fox isn’t anything except a sidekick and this song examines the twin-tailed fox exploring chemical escapism. And he screams about whores. And screams a lot, actually.
3 . Crasher-vania – Simon Belmont is shown as the REAL monster in Castlevania as innocent monsters trying to have innocent Halloween fun are butchered in a fit of hurt feelings with a hilarious Monster Mash vibe.
4. The Book of Nook – Animal Crossing takes a turn that’s hard to ignore when Nook the raccoon clearly explains your place in the pecking order and how he intends to violently enforce that loan you took out on your house.
5. It’s Dangerous to go Alone – We chatted about the Zelda song before, but it’s worth noting that the old man in the cave of the first game has another blade for Link to take in his sturdy grip…
6. Mega Marital Problems – Megaman wasn’t just popped in a freezer between games. Life went on and even Dr. Wily reformed as he conducts some marriage counseling for mister and misses Megaman as the Blue Bomber’s wife demands actual sparks in their lovelife. Also Megaman faces off against Zero. Awesome.
7. Rap Battle: Ryu vs Ken – The Spazkid animated video betrays a growing resentment between the Shotokan rivals and Ryu makes dick references. Constantly. This rap battle to the death takes you across a sea of funny/dirty street fighter references, and lots of dick references. See the them all in the video below!
8. Ballad of Luigi – Remember the spin doctors? Hmm. Probably not… Anyway, Luigi gathers his courage to tell Princess Peach of his love for her as Mario assaults his brother’s tender confession of affection with an announcement to the princess that he bears the burden of a massive phallus. Also a video by EgoRaptor!
9. Regretroid – Samus Aran of Metroid occasionally has to tangle with gender issues. In this tune she addresses a double standard made obvious when facing the fearsome Kraid and Mother Brain. Octopimp crafted a kickass wordy video to accompany the song below.
10. Kirby’s Adventures in Reamland – Sometimes curiosity is a horrible, horrible thing. Egoraptor and Ninja Sex Party explore Kirby’s kink side. Ugh, it’s just horrifying. Why?! WHY SEX WITH KIRBY?!?
11. The Simple Plot of Final Fantasy 7 – Cloud appears on a gaming talkshow to explain the simple story to Final Fantasy’s seventh installment, much to the frustration of its host and other guests whose games can be explained in one sentence.
I’ve heard worse ideas, but few work out as poorly as connecting a shitty franchise that doesn’t perform well with one that sells.
In the case of Transformers, that means forcing a crossover game that implies that the War for Cybertron series and the Movies are ostensibly before and after images of the same universe. This being a notion that makes me gurgle with rage and not just because seeing stuff like this still makes me ill:
I’m mad as fuck because War for Cybertron and Fall of Cybertron are the only games that don’t make me crumple in disappointment at the failure of other games representing the robots in disguise to date. Aside from being solid shooters themselves they also show a lot of care in respecting the source material and remain the one steady foot that Transformers has in gaming.
Although, that Transformers Armada game on the PS2 was pretty sweet too.
The movie games are sloppy, buggy and represent a picture perfect example of shitty licensed games and that the kiss of death for such hastily developed titles is as strong now as it was back in the day. It’s like counting rings on a tree, if that tree were made of shit. Different layers of feces showing different levels of half-assed, hurried promotion meeting the release of a movie instead of making a game for the purpose of making a game that benefits the license long term.
Again, not picking on the movies themselves despite the fact that Bay’s pissing, testicle waving and farting robots are a constant reminder of pain and confusion for me. The movie games have always been prone to major suckage and lack the polish that makes the War for Cybertron so appealing, but that quality is not aided by the fact that they’re trying to combine the decent game with the craptastic game. Kotaku concurs.
Simply put, the movie games are made to cash in on a movie-based impulse; whereas the War for Cybertron games were developed as games first and licensed products second. This cash-in is meant to lure folks hungry for a sequel from the GOOD Transformers game while squeaking out a few additional copies from folks that either haven’t been hurt enough by the Transformers movie games or folks that just don’t know any better and hate having money.
To pour salt in this impending wound, the game’s not even being handled by the only competent hands trusted with the series. It’s being developed by Edge of Reality, a studio known for doing the laundry of better developers in porting stuff to other stuff. It is within the grasp of these slippery fingers that an obvious cash grab is being squirted out to silence the barking seals of the transformers fanbase that have been calling for since the end of Fall of Cybertron left us on an extreme cliffhanger.
Everything else on the game is vague past this singular and upsetting point, but meshing different worlds hasn’t historically worked well for Activision, remember the Spiderman-on-Spiderman crossovers? Probably not, because they also sucked and were a cash grab as they neglected developing incredible games for individual SpiderMEN (Like Original flavor and 2099 variants) so they could senselessly cram them into games that look great on paper and like ass in production.
If it’s just a crossover then at least we can look forward to a non-crap game coming out sometime, but in the then why make this AT ALL when you could still just make a GAME to tie to the movie on its own merits?
It’s a game with robots that are also cars, jets and DINOSAURS!!! This is an opportunity that developers should be killing eachother in the street over and yet it’s just another plop in the bucket for Activision.
Since the publisher manning the spigot is the same vile creature that basically murdered Guitar Hero and clearly states its intention to drive stuff into the ground, the whole purpose of the game is milking a license for cash without putting in the work on a better game.
Sigh. It’s a matter of lazy business math. Who the fuck wants to make games anymore, right?
Do you even Zelda, brah?
Egoraptor and the playful carnies of Ninja Sex Party have combined their fearsome forces to make Starbomb, a sinister game-lampooning rap style music project.
It even has an album out for sale.
It’s like it has learned to feed itself!!! The songs are gradually being treated to youtube video promotion and the most recent was this “laid back summertime jam” exploring the complicated relationship between Link and the mysterious old man in the cave who provided his first blade…
BE WARY OF CURSING AND TOPIC OF A SEXUAL NATURE. POTENTIALLY, NSFW!!!
This particular video marks a feather in the cap for its animators, Studio Yotta. Here’s hoping we see more from the folks that managed to tie Zelda’s green-clad hero to hookers:
I will say that as “Zelda Rap” goes we’ve gone a lot further than where we used to be… Uh, yeah. Although, I’m not especially feeling “rap” from this lyrical showdown about a phallus.
I’m old school, folks. I’ve seen my share of Zelda Raps before.
Whatever the hell you wanna classify this wondrous musical accomplishment, the album is available on iTunes and Amazon among other places.
I suppose there’s bigger topics to cover out there. Maybe.
There’s Facebook and Oculus enjoying the fallout of their reviled union post-buyout.
There’s Square-Enix realizing that folks want them to make the games that they’ve generally been demanding for years after seeing the sales number for greatly default.
But all news pales in comparison when you consider that someone took time out of their lives to make a goat simulator that is, in fact, the worst simulation of a goat ever.
You basically cause widespread destruction as a goat because… you just do.
The closest thing I could compare it to is PAIN on PSN, a game that had you hurling people via slingshot at targets around a city in order to string together the largest amount of injuries, devastation and wanton destruction possible.
Goat Simulator allows you the freedom to roam around… and apparently make contact with Satan at some point? Regardless, it’s the most aggressively awesome idea that challenges all past conceptions of goat-based gameplay in the industry to date.
Kotaku (despite their annoying ads) has a great list of Steam reviews that boil the game down to its core for you to decide on it being a purchase or not. This list being one of the most persuasive incentives I can think of to justify considering the game for goat purposes.
Also, Team Four Star’s Lanipator had a go at the game on their new site while doing his Vegeta voice and it gives a satisfying taste of the Goating in action.
No, not their ACTUAL stock. Uh, maybe it is?
Well, I don’t know, but my personal stock in them certainly is after having a long hard look at the offerings between my current generation consoles and a harder look at the next gen consoles that recently hit the market.
Since the outage due to the big hack back about the time Portal 2 was supposed to release with some fancy connectivity feature to Steam, Sony has been in a weird position scrambling to undo the damage. Myself, like many folks, were so freaked by the fact that we’d essentially been e-robbed that Sony’s efforts to undo the damage largely went unapplauded.
They did some good work there. The Lifelock insurance, the improved network security and even a trial run at a program I should have jumped onto.
That program being PlayStation plus, essentially Sony’s asnwer to Xbox Live, that offers perks, discounts and the added bonus of small pile of games each month as benefits. However, these perks are obscene in their awesomeness since paying close to what one year of Xbox Live costs results in a library that dwarfs Microsoft’s recent attempt to measure up with games that have been around for five years or so and only two of those a month.
While the PS3 still doesn’t have access to a better infrastructure allowing communication between users in a more practical fashion, it still will have more free stuff thrown at it than the Xbox 360 ever will in its lifetime. Sure, it’s technically “free” stuff from a service you pay to enjoy and the perks dry up as will access to said library if you stop paying, but there isn’t anything out there comparable and as someone who’s been paying for far less using Xbox Live as long as I have I’m seeing a far greener pasture on the side that Daison has been waving me towards for a long time now.
Hell, in just a few months any PlayStation Plus member finds themselves bathed in free games across multiple systems giving added incentive to check out a new console just to accommodate the new library that user will have access to instantly.
Daison and I were narrowly able to make one last hurrah of things with Civilization Revolution over Live, but being that I’m only looking to put down money for one next gen console (if any) and that there’s little if any incentive on Xbox One outside of giant robots, it’s an easy decision. Even if I don’t get a PS4 anytime soon, the Plus account will still mean that I have games waiting for me when I’m ready.
A new console with a bunch of games just waiting there for me? Hell, I might even snag a Vita too.
Well played, Sony. Well played.
So the man that made Transformers wave their testicles, urinate on authority figures (literally), shrug at mass slaughter and make less sense with each installment is working his magic on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Awhile back we enjoyed the horror as he revealed his plans to make the Turtles into Aliens. This prevents them from being Mutants. This prevents them from technically even being Turtles. This certainly complicates the whole ninjas thing.
But hey… they might still be teenagers? Ugh.
Leaks keep finding their way out despite the attempts at a domestic blackout in the USA on production. Toy fair had some figures on display that they weren’t keen on the general public getting a look at… yet.
Anyhoo, cue the folks at ACtoys who show the green foursome as their live action appearance will reflect.
So now they’re steroid slurping monsters. No longer just turtles given speech, humanoid form and the ability to ingest pizza. They’re MONSTERS. Donatello looks like a ghostbuster while the rest of them look like angry turtle savages, I loathe it. It’s like they turned to the awful TMNT: Out of the Shadows game for inspiration or the creepy fanart of attempts at real-life mutant turtles.
Not keeping hopes high for the film. Anyone want to vent their thoughts on this given what little we know and what we’ve seen?
I was fortunate to have some time to sit down with the new South Park RPG. I’m not exactly a die-hard fan anymore (burned myself out a bit re-watching seasons on DVD… a lot), but I still enjoy checking in on the show periodically and this is easily the greatest payoff for any fan of the show. I’ve been hoping for a decent RPG to help relieve me of time and focus and the union of Comedy Central, Obsidian and the game’s new publisher, Ubisoft, has made this a reality.
When the game forces you to take on the mantle of Douchebag, it opens you up to a brilliantly written story torn screaming from the twisted minds that make up the show as your mute protagonist is thrust into uniting the children of South Park from all gangs, cliques and fantasy realms to face one or more evils that threaten the quiet mountain town.
I remember being excited for South Park games and getting bland shooters, a kart racer, a quiz show and even a tower defense game. These were all done in the same banal pattern to market a license with a product that fails to represent its origin. Stick of Truth is different and on so many levels.
It’s not just a game with a few voice clips, this was a serious investment by Comedy Central and Obsidian. Every inch of this looks and sounds like an episode of the show playing out giving the impression that real care was put into making the game and that’s something I haven’t seen until Rocksteady laid Arkham Asylum on us.
There’s a word for a game like this: Authenticity.
This isn’t just a licensed product; this FEELS like playing through a season of South Park as stupidly unrelated weird crap collides with the already weird crap in making what’s pretty much the norm of the show. Farting being used as magic, fighting against alien anal probing and braving past junkies to get meth for the local coffee house all get the point across that you’re in South Park.
The dialogue which peppers the game is the real deal using actors from the show, but it gets better when clearly the game progresses as through the writing staff were involved while working hand-in-hand with Obsidian to make a game that positively oozes South Park.
The game is crafted by the guys who made the wastelands into a happening place for swingin’ gamer cats with Fallout and within the last few years they also made the exceptional Fallout: New Vegas. Obsidian is a competent developer, but only with the license holder making the necessary heartfelt effort could the game succeed as the phenomenon of brilliance that this has become.
The best part of all this? Considering the simplicity of of gameplay design coupled with the game’s appearance being identical to the show itself, they didn’t feel compelled to reinvent the fucking wheel when the game was designed as a turn-based RPG. This is all the best parts of what made Final Fantasy so damn good for so long by working with a simple and yet engaging interface while the story itself provided all the incentive necessary to keep you giving enough of a crap to keep playing. Stick of Truth does this in spades and gives me strong hope that other license holders and developers might catch on so we get more of this and less tragedies like Aliens: Colonial Marines and Rambo.
Bet Sega will rethink that Aliens RPG now.
I’m still farting my way through the game since my time isn’t as copious as it used to be and overtime is more of a mandatory than an optional thing at the moment. However, I’ve been thirsting for this game and my wait was rewarded in spades the moment I powered it on. It’s definitely something I can’t fathom recommending to people who don’t like or have managed to be totally unfamiliar with the show, but to anyone with a remote fondness for the brazen offensiveness of this little show there is a game that will blow your minds if you are prepared to give it a try.
I know I step into the transformer thing at frequent and possibly uncomfortable length, but I’m doing it again because TJ Duckett of Kuma Style has made a video to prompt genuine salivating on my part.
The set in question is a 3rd party two-pack that features Gears and Swerve from Generation One of Transformers. Swerve is really the prize the set is built around because the guys behind the toy are Swerve freaks fo the highest caliber and for good reason…
Swerve is the owner of the second most famous Transformers bar in existence: Swerve’s. He’s not much use in battle as he’s a metallurgist by trade and to date his most famous combat accomplishment is shooting off his own face and prompting the construction of an insultingly childish “My First Blaster” in a desperate attempt to allow him some defense without killing himself.
Anyway, Swerve is a bartender these days and became arguably one of the most popular transformer characters to date by annoying more important characters into action or random acts of violence. This set of his includes a tray of drinks, a MyFirstBlaster kit, the “Shoomer” rifle that blew off his face and an alternate head with Swerve’s head blown off.
Check the video below:
I didn’t entirely forget Gears. It’s just that he’s no Swerve, which is tragically ironic in a way since the bartender started out as the red repaint of Gears to begin with. Gears is charming in that “cranky old asshole” kind of way and that’s pretty much his only claim to fame, that everyone knew there was evil in their midst when they took in the horrors of Gears smiling.
He’s incapable of being nice. That’s the joke. Seriously, it makes Swerve’s stock rise no matter how annoying he can be by just standing next to Gears, much less being packed into a box with him. It’s not a cheap purchase and one I can only afford in the event of me doing something desperate, but I’m just relieved to see that despite Hasbro never being able to keep up with their own product that someone still thirsts for my money.
Sonic has not had it easy since he left the safety of 2-D side scrollers.
Sega has done everything except make a game that was remotely on par with the polish of his original titles. When I say everything, I mean they’ve given him 3D adventure titles, made a black version of him with guns, made a sword-wielding fantasy game, a couple of reboot type games, a bunch of sub-par racing titles and even made a couple of games aimed at pleasing selfish old bastards like me.
It’s like every time a Sonic game comes out, I want to like it and I’ll even make a point to try it, but Sega’s need to establish a huge animal kingdom of characters seems to have complicated getting the one blue mascot back on track.
Despite this, the blue blur still manages to cling tenaciously to our hearts and Sega realizes this so they keep licensing out his likeness for anything and everything under the sun. They make sure that spiny blue guy works the hell out of his corner.
Anyhoo, Sega seems convinced that they have the magic bullet this time with Sonic Boom, a new series premiering on Cartoon Network and a game by the same name with a… slight makeover to the cast.
Sonic bears a scarf now and aside from having tape going up his forearms and shins he seems to have his legs stretched to a bit. For the most part he’s pretty normal. Ditto for Amy, who simply seems to be sporting a new red outfit with some alterations for ease of movement in assaulting strangers with her hammer that is still present.
Tails is still a short two-tailed fox, but now sports a couple of leather straps, some goggles and he’s wielding a wrench. If there was a character to have any reaction about whatsoever it’s Knuckles who boasts a significant growth spurt and possibly steroid abuse because he’s a bigger, burlier version of the echidna with dreads and that’s really the only difference.
There’s even a trailer that shows
Dr. Robotnik Dr. Eggman in a chase with Sonic that shows off the new look, voices and well… Have a gander!
The whole crew is instantly recognizable. Reportedly we can find the crew on the Sonic Boom game coming to 3DS and Wii U. There’s a very minimal tease of what the game looks like, but it’s… next to nothing.
I’m a little disappointed, while I’ve been under the weather folks alerted me that Sonic was changed and the cry of blasphemy rung through the internet, but there’s barely any material to work with and for the most part it’s the same crap on a different day. That might change if it sneaks through totally broken like Sega let happen with Aliens: Colonial Marines, but until there’s something playable it’s just Sega doing the hype thing to get gamers talking and keep investors from bailing.
I can’t even generate an emotion about this. Well, except that I detest calling Robotnik “Dr. Eggman” since it’s been his name since forever, but then again Princess Toadstool hasn’t been too efficient with her alias either, so I guess it goes around.
This generate anything for you? Any nerd rage to vent up in here? If the opposite, what do you like so far?
Hey guys! Flump Studios shot me some cool news that I didn’t get to break due to the sickness leaving me mostly non-functional and icky.
Well, you should, and it’s relevant because for the limited time the game is 30% off on Steam!
Check it out and tell me your thoughts. Xbox folks have to stretch their thumbs a bit, but when I know the details you will too.
Credit: Flump Studios