Mass Effect 3: Tequila Se’Lai Sundays

Following my previous post, I feel I might as well get it out. Starting with Drunk Tali’Zorah reference is always a good start.

The broken, nihilistic and utterly fucked up ending needs to change for Mass Effect 3 and there’s no good reason it really shouldn’t in a day and age where I’m forced to download updates to include peripherals I don’t own. It’s a fucking videogame, first of all, but I can throw out at least six additional reasons why it isn’t a solution that might compromise their excuses citing artistic integrity.

After the cut, we’ll reprise my unending poem of pain that writes itself a little more every day that I sit in wait for Bioware to make things right and stop sassing me for wanting them to FIX it.


There are plenty that defend the ending (I refer to a singular ending because they are pretty much identical), reflecting on its artistic integrity, but knowing how DLC operates the whole ending feels like some spectacular sham lining up at least half the game’s content to be released post game. It’s not just Bioware/EA doling out the game pieces at a time; it is the fact that we had grown to trust a developer and believe their promises that turned out to be lies. We did not misconstrue, misinterpret, or misread what Bioware conveyed and when we called them on it, built a bridge to fix their failure and even waited for an HONEST GODDAMN ANSWER… We got the brush off.

So we made enough noise until they couldn’t block us out.

Getting the brush off still upsets me. When the press against them hit its peak, they caved and said they’d fix it. Then Bioware came out to say fuck anyone who didn’t like it, we’ll make it longer so you’ll like it or at least so you won’t have any room to complain. That’s not the best response I could think of in this situation, so I hope they don’t mind the loss of any future money from me if Bioware fucks this up too.

To reiterate; the problem with the ending, aside from plotholes, laziness and nonsensical bullshit is the fact that there is only one real ending and it’s bad. It’s bad enough to rip off Deus Ex and offer three endings, but each of them are the same ending. Harbinger hits Shepard with a beam and suddenly everything goes wrong and any person remotely associated with the games can see where things went bad. Primarily by removing player choice from anything in the conclusion and flushing the franchise down the toilet IN JUST THE LAST FEW FUCKING MINUTES as though they let the goddamn interns wrap things up.

With Game Informer recently making the effort to shit all over my “mistake” in having an opinion about this “satisfying conclusion”, I find myself becoming more and more fed up with Mass Effect. I depended on Mass Effect like a junkie because of the amazing escapism it provided and the seemingly infinite replay value the games had. Then there’s Mass Effect 3 and I’m so depressed by this game that I can’t play it anymore because it makes me sad to even attempt another playthrough. It changes everything knowing my efforts in this series for the last five years don’t amount to shit and that questioning this design choice and requesting that it be fixed ASAP is somehow an error in MY judgement? Eat shit, Bioware.

Fix this monumental failure soon or forfeit me and a lot of other people as customers. Also, pull your heads out of your asses and stop selling out to EA’s cash-grinding bullshit.

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