Nintendo: Wii-U impotency disappoints women all over the world!

See this? Note the "wireless" communication between the console and the control pad? For the moment, it sounds like this is a LIE.

It tingles to be right sometimes. Not to pat myself on the back or anything, but I feel this confirms my distinct suspicion that the Wii-U was clearly an untested, unapproved prototype that Nintendo left in mothballs during the financial reign of the Wii and DS. So, just as Nintendo stopped developing games with any enthusiasm they also decided to stop working on a true successor console.

Which is why the Wii-U seems so delightfully odd and why, according to an unnamed third party developer source, the device is unable to beam the data back and forth between console and controller meaning that it has to have a cord connecting the devices at all times. Yet even with the cord tethering the pad/controller to the console, there appear to be significant issues. If Nintendo skitters out and stammers that their new console won’t be ready until the end of next year when they realize they cannot make their deadline, we’ll know why.

Then again, this is all mean-spirited speculation! It’s a also based off of a rumor. A rumor from a notoriously trustworthy source for Nintendo leak info out of France, but a rumor all the same.

I’m not stressing this in the least, because everything about the Wii-U seems off for me. I half imagine Nintendo releasing a completely new console within two years of the Wii-U’s release in order to stem the tide of another Virtual Boy if they can’t perfect their fancy, space age, touchscreen shit. I would love to be wrong and the Wii-U turned out to be the best device in the world, but after watching Nintendo just kick back to rest on the laurels and their near accidental success with casual gamers and motion controls; I’m less inclined to trust or favor them down the line even IF their next console can play Netflix and tell me the weather.

But we’ll see. This leak was originally spilled by 01Net, but spilled to myself by Kotaku (whose site appears to be working better… for now).

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