FF13-2: New Trailer does little to inspire confidence in an unnecessary sequel

(IGN’s new trailer shows more of the gaudy crime against God and Man that is a sequel to the worst Final Fantasy game ever made.)

Really? “One more thing, don’t ever lay down and wait to die!”

Why NOT lay die and die? That sums up my attachment to the Final Fantasy games lately anyway post Final Fantasy XIII. I wasn’t entirely onboard for FFX-2 (especially since Square killed off FFVI-2), but at the very least FFX-2 was a girly romp through conventional JRPG gaming with a goofy, nonsensical story with clear goals for the player to embrace.

All the big budget visuals won’t change the fact that the characters are wholly unlikeable, the story (what little exists) is dumber than shit and I have a nasty feeling the gameplay isn’t going to improve itself anytime soon since their last attempt. This snippet of giant monsters slipping out of tears in space is undermined by angsting, weeping, whining tweens and teens spouting the most idiotic lines I’ve had to choke down since I tried to finish the original FF13.

Even with all the “interesting” things they show, it looks like the same fucking game making this an easy pass. The cameo by Hope’s boomerang doesn’t make me any more excited for what happens next, like he’ll come in and show them how whining is MEANT to be done. There’s some new characters teased and some barely comprehensible looks at Lightning’s face, but I find myself less interested with each second of gaudily dressed freaks prancing around speaking idiot-speak.

But then you really have to wonder what kind of idiots are running the place behind the game when they intentionally spend time and money to make a technical demo that ignites a demand that they will never be bothered to meet. By this time, nothing is sacred to them as they’ve remade most of the early FF games as many times as possible for portable and cellphone release. FF7 is something people have been all but skywriting that they want remade in the spirit of the Technical demo and a remake would be MUCH easier than making a new game, but I’m uncertain how to perceive a company that HATES easy money to this degree.

I’m not cutting my wrists or anything over 7 as my first and only FF love is their sixth installment, but I remain content with its majestic bleeps, bloops and 16-bit graphics. I could give a crap about 3D visuals, but having a remake of an already existing game (ff7) is vastly better than a shitty game with a shitty sequel (FF13 & FF13-2) or a shitty MMO no one wanted that Squenix outsourced to the Chinese that they cannot get to work properly (FF14).

Basically, they are consistently the source of their own financial suffering with each poor choice that they make. A multi console release of a FF7 remake might not put them back on top of the world, but it’s as “safe” I’m surprised they can’t smell their insolvency already, Eidos is going to be the only thing keeping them above water very shortly. Provided Gamestop doesn’t ruin new copies of this game as well.

I’m rather shocked that even Square-Enix hasn’t thought to rip new games and franchises straight out of the Spirits Within film, like I suggested before. Sure there’s some licensing to dredge up, some palms to grease to get it under their complete control, but the complete rights to a failed film are cheaper than that of a good one. Otherwise it’s just sitting there in bargain bins, stagnating and making occasional sales for mistaken nostalgia or artistic design classes.

(FF7 PS3 Technical Demo by Square-Enix to flex their muscles with regard to the visual development prowess on the console, the infamous cocktease that Square-Enix refuses to give to its hungry consumer base)

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