Playstation: Lawyers’ Lame Litigations liberally lummox legalities?

(Kevin Butler saving Sony at E3 as the previous spokescreature Sony sent out is dying onstage after trying to discuss the PS3 MOVE. As the last respectable element or “face” of Sony, Butler is the only effective advertisement for their brand and yet they STILL can’t deliver the content you can find elsewhere. It’s tragic. And it’ll be hilarious when either Nintendo or Microsoft make him an offer he can’t refuse.)

Or so Kotaku illustrates with regard to PSone downloadable releases…

I call bullshit on this because apparently Japan has no problem putting shit out all willy-nilly on their PSN, but something about water and distance changes the game in its entirety. It’s a cute excuse, but why the fuck is Einhander in Japan and not elsewhere? What license could possibly be holding that up when Squenix owns the rights and has ALREADY put it up for online distribution elsewhere? I know Sony has self-imposed limitations and double standards when it comes to older games, but half of those were set up to pathetically keep their PSP alive and clearly THAT was a fucking awful idea given how effectively they killed the market for it.

In fact, I call bullshit on a lot of the paper tigers Sony sets in its own path claiming these false hazards are what prevent them from making money. Grab a soda, let’s chat about Sony’s excuse for not giving people what they ask for. Again.

More after the cut!

For that matter, where is Suikoden 2 on PSN? If the entire Arc the Lad collection is up there already then oceans of shit should be flowing forth from Japan. Speaking of which, Sony struck upon this great, if pathetically lazy and lame, idea to import Japanese games without wasting time on that whole “translation” or “localization” thing so we can finally play shitty old Aniki Brothers games in the raw… great. They’ve also put out about 2-3 additional titles, also totally obscure and otherwise useless to hardcore gamers who would happily shell out cash for great, easily acquired titles Japan never shipped to us because of one idiotic reason or another.

It’s really cute to hear Sony Europe blame lawyers for their disgustingly slow releases, but I imagine since the European developers and reps are always so much more pleasant than the greasy, sleazy fucks in America who step out on to their own press releases drunk and irritable that consumers “want things”. I suspect that there’s some truth to what they say. In fact, I believe every word of it and that’s what upsets me.




Uh, what the hell was I talking about? OH YEAH! So, Sony has all these amazing titles, many made by their own hand or at least released under the first party banner and the weak sauce excuse they’re touting is that the “licensing” doesn’t hold up? How about Legend of Legaia? I know old Madden games are totally out of the question, but why NOT Legend of Legaia?? Blasto?!? There’s gobs of amazingly gorgeous titles out there totally untouched and there’s no good reason for it taking years for this crap to show up.

Make it happen Sony! This stuff is practically free money once you get off your asses and bring out the big guns in terms of downloable, non-tangible games. Cheap, easy, already rated and product tested materials that are sold via download… What’s the hold up? What licensing discussion could possibly go beyond, “Hey! You want some money for doing nothing but sitting there? Let’s sell your dusty old game online.” I can only assume that the same “lawyers” SonyEurope notes in the Kotaku article are well-oiled suit reps in reality trying to break the license owners balls over the cut of profits which sounds a lot like Sony lately.

Hell, if I ran Sony I’d slap that shit up and only demand a fraction of the profit to entice publishers to bring their old stuff back on the market. I’d even consider putting it up for FREE in order to attempt to drive Xbox Live and the Wii Store into the dirt. That brings another issue to mind, why Sony has emulator programs set up and makes a big ass deal about how many handshakes it takes to GET A DISC PUT INTO A MACHINE so money appears as a result of downloads, when they don’t demand any improvement whatsoever in the product itself. No updates, no conceivable repair to broken parts of the game and ultimately NO achievem-Sorry, no “TROPHIES” factored in making them more valuable in the eyes of competitive gamers. There’s NOTHING except putting a disc in a thingy and charging $6-$10 for a download.

WHY IS THIS DIFFICULT FOR THE MAJORITY OF PSone GAMES? Sports games and movie tie-ins I understand, but I don’t care how weird the market is as the license holders drowning in debt would LOVE a shot at some money for signing their game up for download and you can’t tell me they wouldn’t do so in a heartbeat. So either Sony is orchestrating the sleaziest, ass-backwards deal in existence that completely screws over the publisher or they don’t understand the competitive edge this ability willgive them if they attacked the market with sayyyyy 50-100 new PSone downloads a month.

The PSone library is so freaking vast that it should strike terror into Sony’s competitors that the company is dipping into it to enchance their next-gen hardware, but clearly since Sony is so mentally deficient we won’t be seeing that anytime soon. Some may claim that this overwhelming force of downloadable titles I suggest would create indirect competition for Sony’s own library for the current generation. SO WHAT!?! How could MORE incentive to own their damn consoles be a problem in the slightest???

I admit, the glut of new (old) games for download set up to storm the PlayStation Network would probably turn the market on its head for a few months, but isn’t that what they want?!?! It’s the kind of unfair advantage that keeps people sticking with you. Nintendo’s been doing that precise strategy with the Wii for years and all they release are oceans of half-assed, third party SHIT like Ninjabread Man and Babyz! If PSone titles that people already want showed up en masse then the value priced, quality games would win by a landslide and might even make people sign up for that idiotic Xbox Live knockoff they’re trying to peddle with 1-hour demos as supposed incentive. It would keep PS3s and PSPs working overtime and keep more and more of them in people’s hands than the flimsy attempt to siphon titles out of a vault through a straw as they’re doing right now.

That we’re not seeing… AHEM… Lunar SSSC, Parrapa the Rapper, Darkstalkers, Parasite Eve, Tekken 1 & 3, Ridge Racer, Street Fighter Alpha 3, Vagrant Story, Xenogears, Klonoa, Tobal, Galerians, Megaman Legends 1 & 2, Silhouette Mirage, Misadventures of Tron Bonne, Tomba 1 & 2, Intelligent Qube, Umjammer Lammy, P.O.’d!, Soul Blade, Trap Gunner, Strider 2, Rhapsody, Pocket Fighter, Dead or Alive, Bushido Blade, Ehrgeiz, Star Gladiator, Psychic Force, Destrega, Omega Boost, Thunder Force V, G-Darius, Raiden, R-Type Delta, Gradius Gaiden, Ray Crisis, Raystorm, Star Ocean: The Second Story, Jade Cocoon, Vandal Hearts 1 & 2, Persona 1 & 2, Thousand Arms, Azure Dreams, SaGa Frontier 1 & 2, Kartia, Legend of Dragoon, Saiyuki: Journey West, Tactics Ogre, Kageo: Deception 1 & 2, Breath of Fire 3 & 4, Final Fantasy Anthology, Final Fantasy Chronicles, etc.,etc., etc. is beyond stupid if not tragic.

If all of those came out tomorrow on PSN I’d have to unplug everything else I own so as not to interfere with my enjoyment of Sony’s positively genius accomplishment. It’s really not that hard to regain my love and adoration by giving me what I want and no matter the “environment” of the market, the games still exist somewhere and with so many publishers whoring out their lesser titles in all their versions and samey sequels, I am disgusted by the lack of a defining PSone presence that makes any sense on Sony’s online sales platform.

With financial and creative bankruptcy eating Hollywood and the gaming industry they can’t afford to keep dismissing the inherent value of older, out of print titles and should pursue each of them with psychotic fervor because it doesn’t make sense not to do so. Just as Netflix switching to streaming only is move of financial genius (if hated and unappreciated by its disc loving customers), then why encourage a raging market of pirating old software and price gouging on tangible games that Sony and the copyright holders should be raking in???

Nintendo has no excuse for not having thousands of games for sale up there save for the limitations of their goofy platform and to their credit, they do better than Sony at releasing stuff that’s already decades older than Sony’s titles which aren’t nearly as complex to bring to the market as some of Nintendo’s titles. That and each month is heavily padded by worthless shovelware anyway so all Nintendo has had to do for some time now is sit back and collect checks from suckers. If Sony spent half as much money on putting out more PSone material as they do suing, lying and stalling on next-gen releases and a decent console interface then they’d be doing the same thing.

For that matter, when the hell are PS2 games going to be downloadable?!? Is stuff from the last console generation always going to gouge us for another $15-$40 every time an “HD” version of a game hits that you could otherwise get on a tangible disc that won’t work with Sony’s current hardware for $2-$4 used? Why aren’t PS2 discs compatible with the PS3 again? And PSone games ARE compatible with the PS3? What the fuck?

People want value in their gaming, and the easiest way to mine the pennies out of people in dire straits who want quality gaming on a budget is to put foot to ass in terms of getting games up for download. After joining the ranks of PC gamers I have seen shit that would blow your console playing minds. Steam in particular makes a habit of selling games, CURRENT GENERATION GAMES, for a couple of bucks during their frequently jaw-dropping sales. A pittance here, a couple shekels there and you’ve got a library rivaling everyone else’s market for what seems like nothing at all and these poor bastards ACTUALLY need to worry about piracy. Yet consoles make VASTLY higher amounts of money because of their install base being larger and more easily accessible for non-computer folk, so… they’re not pressing this advantage like crazy? Why?

Granted, two or three of those titles I dropped might show up out of the blue, but since I come second in Sony’s list of priorities, the PC and Xbox 360 will continue to receive my money while the PS3 will only see action when I need to watch Babylon 5 on Netflix or I’m watching a blu-ray movie. And my psp will sit quietly on a shelf undisturbed.

Money overcomes all things in this kind of business, so no matter their explanation for stunted, clumsy releases of dusty old games, in the interest of the almighty dollar/yen/euro there should be a more concentrated effort on making the cheapest effort at a quick buck because even if they have to BUY OUT the licensee of the product we’re talking cheap acquisitions in a turbulent economy that will be stupendously cheaper than having to develop new titles. And while this weak, flimsy excuse is what they’re propping up for why they won’t pursue the release of SOME games that doesn’t mean they can’t release OTHER games from publishers that are still alive and well, not to mention transfer titles they purposely kept off the PSN download area so they could triple the price and try to spice the PSP up with an air of exclusivity… exclusivity for fifteen year old games…

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